DVD Review: Twilight

Directed By Catherine Hardwicke
Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg
Based on the novel by Stephanie Meyer


Summary
Like most tales based in small towns, the story of Twilight shows its viewers that big things CAN happen in small places. The story is about a girl named Bella Swan who moves away from her hot, southern home in Phoenix Arizona, to the small, yet colorful town of Forks Washington. Here, she begins her new life with her father and starting at a new school. And at this new institution of learning, Bella goes into her daily routines believing it would be just like every other school in the world. But as I’m sure all of you reading this can already deduce, that is far from the case.

Bella is introduced to a strange, pale boy named Edward Cullen who is more than meets the eye. As strange events unfold, Edward’s deep, dark secret is finally revealed to Bella…that Edward is part a mythological race of creatures’ known as vampires.

Now at this pivotal turning point in her life, Bella begins her life in love with a creature of the night who reciprocates her feelings. But not all is well! More of the bloodthirsty demons have risen from the shadows determined to “take a bite” out of sweet and innocent Bella. And Edward is faced with a terrible decision that may tear the fabric of his life to shreds.

My Thoughts
I swore to myself and to my fellow “Twilight Haters” that I would never in a million years pick up the teen-romance novel, and I haven’t. Never the less, I felt I obligated to at least see the film since it was bolstered up as this amazing cinematic masterpiece. I was scared to do so however seeing as how I, a male who grew up with a mother whose her own walking Vampire dictionary, did not see this film ever meeting the standards necessary to qualify as a GOOD vampire/gothic film. And thus follows the good and the bad….

What’s Good?
I’ll give it to you, the film is pretty. Very pretty in fact! The mountainous areas were almost perfect and reminded me of the hills contained in the Lord of the Rings film trilogy. Beauty flew throughout the entire two hours of watching it; even the emo-looking vampires had a “pretty” feel about them. I felt very comfortable in the mere fact that no matter what I was looking at, I would be looking at something gorgeous.

And from what I know of the book, (which is very little thank goodness) casting seemed to be spot on. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had an incredible, yet twisted, amount of chemistry building up as Bella and Edward. And the other characters that appeared in the story certainly live up to their roles and executes them with pride.

And of course, lastly the musical score is nothing to glance over. The music gave the film the type of emotion I’m sure the filmmakers were going for. I do remember thinking to myself “wow, the music is actually quite good.”

What’s Bad?
For you Twilight fans out there, I’m sorry to say that this film has numerous flaws in it, which caused me to yawn and become fidgety with boredom. Let me begin with what annoyed me the most, the script!

Now I’m not saying the script was poorly written, nor am I saying that the writing in the book is bad either. I’m sure this movie would do quite well in a theater for the deaf! Or at least, I wish while watching the film I WAS deaf! I think laws should be made that prohibit awfully written dialogue and poorly managed storylines. Not only was the dialogue poorly written, it was also awkward! I don’t know if I have ever known any vampires in the history of gothic literature to speak to humans in the manner that Edward was towards Bella. I felt like eating cheese during the movie.

Now secondly, the plot was amazingly predictable. There wasn’t one event that happened that I didn’t see coming from miles away. The film is so formulaic, I wondered if I was watching “She’s All That” or “Blue Crush” by mistake. Stephanie Meyer certainly has a knack for writing unoriginal storylines.

However, my biggest problem with the film was the racist undertones, pitting the whites against the reds. Of course sometimes I feel that I’m the only one out there who sees the racist connection of making the Indians the Werewolves, and how the white man (vampires) have hunted the Lycan race for centuries. Interesting that parents are so adamant about allowing our children to read these books, yet many of those parents are the same ones who are totally against Saturday morning cartoons that contain have mild violence.

And lastly, my own personal bias must have room in this rant. Having grown up with a lot of exposure to vampire literature and media, Twilight truly pisses me off. Not because of the glitteryness of Vampires, or of the other “changed” vampire traits, Vampires change all the time depending on whose writing it. No, what makes me angry is the lack of erotica within this story. Yeah sure, you get the “teen lust” aspect, but that’s far from blood lusting over a female or a male. Where is the arousal from sucking one’s blood? And where’s the blood for goodness sakes? And how in the world can Meyer get away with making this story end happily? Vampire literature is one of the more unique forms of literature in the world with it’s erotic and twisted sense of life. To give the two main characters a happy ending defies all the rules that make gothic literature GOTHIC!

Conclusion
This film was nothing more than a teen romance story trying to be innovative and creative, yet it comes off as being a predictable and a glamorous piece of junk that I hope cannot stand the test of time and dwindles away into the black pit of nothingness and forgetfulness. Allow the brilliant, more intelligent writers to come forth and give people stories that will not bore or cause you to sleep. Keep authors like Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, J.K. Rowling, Gregory McGuire, and many others around to stomp out the junk that is being put out by authors like Stephanie Meyer. And hopefully one day, people will finally realize what good literature is, and be able to reflect that in what they read, write and tell their children.

1 out of 5 stars