Grant Morrison, The Bane Of My Existence!

Before I begin this edition to the Heretic’s Blog, I must emphasize the fact that my constant and unending hatred of Grant Morrison still holds true! The only piece of literature Grant Morrison has ever written that I have ever liked is his current work on the Batman and Robin monthly title. But at the same time, I still find myself unable to fully enjoy B&R as much as I should due to the annoying writing habits that are a part of the Grant Morrison stamp. I don’t mean to claim I am a better writer than Mr. Morrison, but I like to think I have full confidence in knowing what makes a good story, and Morrison has never truly achieved that in the years I’ve read his work. And with all of this being said, I have to make a very sad and painful announcement…Final Crisis, written by Grant Morrison, is now in my possession in hard back.

This is not a decision I came to lightly. I was at Barnes and Noble the other day and I continued my habit of immediately going back to the graphic novel section of the store. As I scrounged through all of the titles, there they were, Superman holding the skeleton of the famous Batman. I immediately curled my upper lip in disgust at Grant Morrison’s dreaded and awful writing style, and thought to myself , “There’s no way I’ll ever buy that piece of crap! I’ve never read it, and I’m happier this way!” It felt good to make that proclamation. It was almost like I spat in the face of Morrison and my triumph equaled that of winning an Olympic gold medal in the 100 meter dash! And I continued to look at the other books.

But then, as I saw titles such as Watchmen, Road to Perdition, and various Superman and Batman titles, I began to think back to my graphic novel collection. At the blink of an eye, it dawned upon me, I own every DC “Crisis” that has been published. Identity Crisis, Infinite Crisis, Crisis on Infinite Earths, they are all in my possession. And it became apparent that I am your typical collector and felt the urge to “have it!!” There’s was nothing I could do except own up to the fact that I’m a pathetic piece of trash, and that even though I can’t stand Grant Morrison in the least I still have to own Final Crisis.

So there you have it, I’m supporting Grant Morrison and his untalented writing by buying his book. I do have Doug Mahnke, an artist whom I respect, to help save my life from the god-awful writing that I’m sure is coming my way. So all I’m doing with this post is not so much declaring to the world that I will be reading Final Crisis (which I swore never to do) for the first (and hopefully the last) time, but more so to ask for your prayers that I won’t kill myself in the process. I don’t care if you pray to Christ, Allah, Buddha, etc., any prayers will help!