Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Top Ten Fictional Characters You Don't Want To Piss Off!!

Every TV show, Movie, Comic Book, and play has a character that makes you think one thing..."If they person was real, I would NOT want him/her on my bad side."  And it's true!  We've all thought about the fact that if certain characters from our favorite medium were actually alive, we would do everything we could to become their friend and staying on their good side.  Well, for me, that list of characters comes down to a top ten list.  Hence the name of this posting.  Comment below if you agree or disagree with some of the names here, or add any character you think SHOULD HAVE made the list.  Enjoy!

10. Magneto
Being discriminated against can surely put someone through one hell of a mind-fuck.  And every once in a while someone comes from the ashes of that group to rise against his discriminators.  If Malcolm X taught us one thing, it's the fact that after a while...oppressors will get their just desserts.  Magneto is no exception.  He takes his vengeance to new heights never before seen by humankind.  He's not truly a bad guy, just someone very, VERY pissed off at the rest of the world for how he was treated growing up.  When a person has the ability to move bridges (or anything magnetic) I'd recommend steering clear of him.

9. Spock
Yes, the unknowingly cocky alien son of a bitch who seems to have a handle on everything knowledgeable.  Sure, he's had his minor bumps down the road, but he's not someone I would want to get on my bad side.  When he sets out to accomplish something, he is a juggernaut of unstoppable will and determination.  He's almost like a walking encyclopedia of knowledge that can prove useful in any situation.  With his nearly flawless ability to calculate impossible equations, he's quite possibly the next closest thing to a "Batman in Space."  it's those smart aliens you've got to watch out for, otherwise you might just find yourself in a Vulcan mind-meld of pain.

8. Veronica Mars
If you haven't seen her show, then get on Netflix right now and start watching how awesome Veronica is at nailing the bad guys to the wall!  If you're her friend, then you have an automatic safety net all jam-packed in one person.  Verging on being one of the smartest women on planet Earth, she has brought down some of the richest and most powerful people in her local community an some national icons.  But if you double-cross her, or piss her off, she will go to any lengths to bring you down and expose you for the creep you really are.  Sometimes I feel as if Veronica is watching me on a daily basis, just waiting for me to do something wrong and put me in jail for the rest of my life.  As innocent as she may look, she will destroy anyone who deserves it.

7. Bugs Bunny
Come on, you can't leave the coolest, calmest, and the most sarcastic rabbit in the history of cartoons off this list.  If you leave him alone, he'll leave you alone.  But if decide it's time for "wabbit season" you might discover yourself running into a brick wall painted like a tunnel, or in a pot of boiling water surrounded by "ingins," or in a barbers chair getting an incredibly close shave while synchronizing your pain to the beat of Beethoven's 5th.  Every once in a while Bugs might run into a character that gets the better of him, but you can't allow that to invalidate everything else he's done to every other character he's come in contact with.  Daffy might be clever and diabolical, but he doesn't hold a candle to the furry tailed bunny of terror.

6. Rorschach
Rorschach is a nut case, I think we can all agree to that.  But being a nut case doesn't necessarily mean anything.  Rorschach however takes things very personally and will make you squeal if you upset him.  He's dropped someone down an elevator shaft, broken gang member's fingers, killed a crime boss, and thrown boiling hot grease onto another man's face...this is not a stable human being!  Not only that, but his detective skills are uncanny.  Sure, Batman could give Rorschach a run for his money, but he's definitely no one dumby.  He will find anyone who has wronged him or someone else and shove you into a refrigerator or use some type of torture until you give him what he wants.  Recommendation...don't become a criminal.

5. Lois
No no no, not Lois Lane, I'm talking about Malcolm in the Middle.  Lois reminds me of my own mother in that she doesn't put up with anyone's crap!  If you make her mad, might as well just give up the ghost because she won't allow you room to breath.  Bill Cosby once described what a conniption would look like.  Make sure you youtube Bill Cosby to find out this description because it will help in seeing why I picked Lois for this list.  Watch the video below and see what lengths she'll go to to make certain you understand that she DOESN'T LIKE YOU!

4. John Locke
He that represents the dead philosopher whose philosophies on life have been defined as the grail of Illuminati characterize Lost's John Locke perfectly.  Locke seemed to have a monopoly on life once landing on that island.  Everyone else seemed to just run into more trouble and were incredibly fickle; they trusted each other, then didn't trust each other, than made full circle again in trusting each other while not trusting the ones they trusted before...and the circle continues to revolve around this mentality.  Except for John Locke who always seemed to trust certain people but never excluded anyone else.  As crazy as he may have sounded, I'd rather have John Locke on my side if I were stranded on a strange island filled with all sorts of dangers and what not.

3. Lex Luthor
Simply looking at Luthor freaks me out!  Luthor is best type of megalomaniac, going after every bit of land he can get his hands on and ever superhero he can destroy...namely Superman.  Over the years, his obsession to kill the Man of Steel has gone from bad to worse, now utilizing every method of destruction he can muster to make sure that the name of "Luthor" is above every other name.  He's proven he cares for no one but himself by way of killing his father, destroying corporation and corporation (failing at bringing Wayne Enterprises down) and leaving nothing but bruises and blood in his path.  This is truly a man with no fear and uses every ounce of his energy to keep himself on top.

2. Darth Vader
So forget about that annoying kid from episodes 1,2, and 3, let's take a look at the Sith master himself we've all known for years, Darth Vader.  Sure, he was under the influence of an even more manipulative dark lord, but as we learn from Episode six, he how he drop kicked that S.O.B. in the very end.  Vader is without a doubt tough MoFo.  If you upset him, you get one hell of a choke hold that you won't wake up from.  He survived the worst case of second degree burns in the history of mankind and still kept on ticking and swinging his light saber.  Vador is a survivor...one I wouldn't want on my bad side.

1. Batman
Recently, the question that's been running around the internet is this...Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris or Batman?  You know what the popular answer has become?  You guessed it, Batman!  

I'm sorry, but when a character has been deemed better than Chuck Norris, you KNOW that it has to be true!  DC Comics has been taking advantage of this character by way of using him as the poster child for comics.  You may see Spider-Man outside of every comic book store, but Batman appeals to everyone young and old.

But getting away from the Norris vs. Batman question, the Dark Knight has shown us for the last 75 years that his intellect, athleticism, and his unmatched detective skills are a force to be recognized and worshiped.

One of the most appealing aspects of Batman is his dark personality.  He doesn't have favorites, he's not fooled easily, and he waves the thought of death in front of his enemies like it's an old toy ready to be trashed.  He has no fear and will stop at nothing to avenge those who have been wronged.

The fact that he has fought intergalactic and supernatural battles, time traveled, defied death, destroyed some of the most powerful beings in the universe with no super power at all kind of defines his kick-ass persona.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on Superman, Wonder Woman, or the X-Men, but you have to admit that Bob Kane did one hell of a job in creating this caped crusader.  Don't get on his bad side folks, he will most definitely make you pay.


  1. I love you included Lois! That really makes the list complete - though I'd put her a little closer to Batman ;D

  2. Heck yeah! I've always wondered what life would be like id she was a real person.

  3. Can you replace the Nimoy picture with Quinto? And guess what's worse than a mind meld from Spock? A Vulcan death-grip.