Monday, March 8, 2010

Heretical Jargon: Me Vs. The Oscars

I've decided to go out on a limb a name my Oscar winners here on my blog.  I no way do I think my decisions are better than the Oscar winners, however I do think there are some films that deserve an Oscar when they received none.  So, here we are, my Heretically Awesome Oscar Winners are.....

Best Visual Affects: Avatar
Actual Winner: Avatar
I mean c'mon, who isn't going to put Avatar in for the win?  It took the Oscar by a landslide, no one could touch it.  It was astounding how much work it took to bring this animated phenomenon to life.  CG films will now be based on what Avatar accomplished.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Precious 
Actual Winner: Precious
Seriously, this might be one of the best adapted films from a book I've ever seen.  Such a wonderfully handpicked cast is what made this film so good.  I'm so glad the academy recognized this film as the best for the year.

Best Original Screenplay: Up In The Air
Actual Winner: The Hurt Locker
Up In The Air was a spectacular film, I was very surprised to see the Hurt Locker beat it out.  I loved how everything tied together about the nature of meaningful relationships and the disconnect we try to put on them.

Best Sound Mixing: Nine
Actual Winner: The Hurt Locker
It's a matter of taste I guess.  I was astounded by how well balanced the entire film was.  I never felt anything was so loud it became out of context, and vice versa with the low volume sections.

Best Original Score: Up!
Actual Winner: Up!
The emotional impact the music had in relationship to the story was perfect.  But of course, Pixar is perfect so all is well!

Best Film Editing: Inglorious Basterds
Actual Winner: The Hurt Locker
Both were edited well, but Inglorious Basterds had something a little different...that Quentin Tarantino touch.  Again, this becomes a matter of taste, but I honestly feel Inglorious Basterds should have taken it.

Best Cinematography: The White Ribbon
Actual Winner: Avatar
I'm sorry, but I have trouble figuring out why a completely animated film won best cinematography.  I think with the White Ribbon, what did it for me was the incredible use of cameras and light.  A good cameraman can take the ugliest and most fowl landscape and turn it into a gorgeous piece of earth.  The White Ribbon, hands down!

Best Art Direction: Nine
Actual Winner: Avatar
I don't know about you, but I think I was impacted more so with Nine's blazingly awesome musical numbers than I was with Avatar's scenery.  I think Avatar was amazing in this aspect, but Nine really got me.  Nine was truly an inspirational and moving visual masterpiece.

Best Animated Feature: Up!
Actual Winner: Up!
I was going between two films, Up! and Coraline.  Claymation typically gets overshadowed by the animated films, but in the end I do think Up! deserved the Oscar.

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique
Actual Winner: Mo'Nique
I wish she had been in a leading role, she might have actually taken best actress!  But Best Supporting Actress is just as good.

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer
Actual Winner: Christoph Waltz
Eh, to each his own.  I'm a huge fan of Plummer and think his performance was more deserving.

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges
Actual Winner: Jeff Bridges
Nuff said!  Best role I've seen him in, period!  It was a nice redemption from that awful role he was given in Iron Man.

Best Actress: Meryl Streep
Actual Winner: Sandra Bullock
Good God people, what the hell are you thinking?  Meryl Streep is beaten by a second rate actress?  Please help me Lord!  The only woman who could have beaten her in pure acting ability was Mo'Nique.  Ugh, how disappointing.  I'm probably more disappointed with this decision than anything else.

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Actual Winner: Kathryn Bigelow
She did a great job, no more needs to be said.  She deserves it.

Best Picture: Precious 
Actual Winner: The Hurt Locker
I thought Precious was the best film of the year by a LONG SHOT.  The performances were top notch and the storyline was an emotional train wreck that left an impact on me more than any of the other films nominated.  I like it when a film is produced that isn't set on making you feel good about life.  It dares to take a risk, and I think it paid off.  Not negating the quality of the Hurt Locker, I just feel Precious was a better film.


  1. First I need to correct you and say that "Up in the Air" was up for Adapted screenplay (not original). I will say that this was the only category I strongly disagreed with. Now I loved Precious...but Up in the Air had the best screenplay by far. AND it has won for every other award show until the oscars.
    I am personally a big Hurt Locker fan and am glad it won best picture. One of the best films I have seen in a long time.
    I can't believe you put "Nine" in the mix. That was such a disappointing movie, especially compared to the rest of the films.
    I think it's also strange that you say it weird for a fully animated film to win best cinematography. Cinematography for animated films are extremely complicated and deserve just as much praise as a live action film.
    Also, I am not disappointed that Sandra Bullock won best female actor. Did you see The Blind Side. She was great in it. It was such a unique side to her. This may also be the only time that Sandra may get nominated. AND I am totally comfortable giving the award to someone who may never get this chance again. Meryl steep gets a chance pretty much every year. Although Meryl is brilliant and I would not have been upset had she one.
    I also have to comment on the fact that you picked Christopher Plummer. Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but I'm assuming you haven't seen Inglorious Bastards. Christoph Waltz performance will go down as one of the best performances of all time.

  2. It's fine, to each his/her own. I didn't think Nine was disappointing at all, I loved that movie. The story, yes, was a bit underwhelming, but everything was fantastic. I loved the performances, the music, the musical dance sequences, it was such a complicated and emotional film. It was the film that took me by surprise and really grabbed my attention from start to finish.